Wings Ministry Sonlight Backpacking Trip Reflection

Sonlight Backpacking Trip Reflection
By Ann Edenfield, Wings Ministry Executive Director

August 1, 2004 – Wednesday, August 4, 2004

Sonlight Christian Camp
Winston and Mary Marugg, Directors
PO Box 536
Pagosa Springs, CO 81147
970-264-4379
Email: [email protected]

Eleven youth, The Rev. Dr. Paul Collins, Ann Edenfield, and Sonlight Staff Larson Winchester-Silbaugh & Hannah made up the Wings Ministry Backpacking Team.

What is success? What is failure? If you learn something from an aborted or not fully completed mission, have you failed? These are all questions and issues that I need to think about.

Winston and Mary Marugg, Sonlight Camp Owners, offered the Wings Ministry an opportunity to take 11 youth and 2 adult Wings leaders into the Wimeneuche Wilderness, an area adjacent to the Wolf Creek Ski Area and higher than the Wolf Creek Pass outside of Pagosa Springs, Colorado. We all rode in the Sonlight bus from the camp through the pass, and then took a dirt road 3 miles off the highway climbing to over 11,000 feet and the Lobo Lookout Tower. The mountain directly to our west was Mt. Hope, 12, 834 feet that we hoped to climb on the third day of our journey.

We had carefully packed our backpacks back at the base camp. Each of us carried between 30 and 45# in our backpacks. This included personal clothing, rain gear, food, water bottles, tents, sleeping bags, sleeping pads, flashlights, Bibles & Journals, and cooking utensils. Although I knew the importance of each item and how important it was to eliminate every extra ounce of weight, I don’t think the youth understood. Whatever we carried into the wilderness had to be carried out – even toilet tissue.

I found out later that several team members carried large flashlights and several extra large “D” batteries. They brought heavy cotton sweatpants and blue jeans instead of the requested lightweight, easy to dry long nylon pants. Thank heaven we forced heavy-duty raincoats on them.

Water bottles make great squirting devices. The first day it was hard to impress on the youth how important every drop of water is in the wilderness. Instead, precious water was often squirted on others, dripped on hot heads, or used to create designs and “writing” on the pathway. Second bottles were “forgotten” on the bus and many of the team members only had one bottle to carry water.

Hiking at 11,000 – 12,500 feet altitude presents all kinds of challenges as well as beauty. We hiked along the rim of an extremely steep mountain for at least ½ mile. The pathway, only wide enough for one person, was surrounded by wild strawberries, wild flowers in a vast array of colors from light purples to brilliant reds and yellows. Colorado’s State Flower, the Columbine, was found in abundance. The bright blue skies, hundred foot pine trees, and quaking Aspens filled our senses. Our first lunch on the trail consisted of a delicious “health bar” that we covered in peanut butter. Dried apricots were a first for many of our team members. We found comfort sitting on the ground, dead trees, or large rocks. As water bottles were soon depleted, team members shared their water and when we found a mountain stream in late afternoon, we all were thankful to replenish our water. I think the team soon learned how valuable and precious water is when you are in the mountains.

By late afternoon of the first day, the clouds formed and soon we were in a light drizzle. Team members at first did not understand how important it was to stay dry in our environment and delighted in the cool mist after our long hike. Soon, however, we were in a downpour, and their clothing that was nearly wet all the way through provided little warmth. By 5:00 PM we arrived at our mountain lake campsite, about 5 miles from where we started, following the peaks and valleys of the Continental Divide trail.

Again, the campers did not understand the importance of setting up the tents immediately. They ran off, eager to explore the mountain lake and our beautiful surroundings. When the rain became very heavy and the fog started to roll in, the campers realized the importance of setting up the tents. Hurriedly, the tents were set up, and backpacks and clothes were thrown inside the tents. Again, the campers did not understand the importance of keeping everything dry. Shoes, socks, and many items were not covered thoroughly, and most campers were wet.

As Larson and Hannah cooked beef stew for dinner that night, the smells permeated the air and gave a sense of warmth and “home”. For most of the campers, that dinner seemed to be their only sense of comfort. They found themselves exhausted, wet, in very tight quarters with people that they had just gotten to know. I’m sure they were a little frightened, felt all “alone” and on top of the world, probably were homesick, and facing a challenge they had not expected. A fight broke out in one of the boys’ tents, emotions were raw, tears were shed, and several campers braved the rain to come to my tent to inform me they “Wanted to go home!”

The next morning we arose to a crystal clear day. We were literally on top of the mountain and we could look out in all directions to mountain peaks in the distance. The highway curved back and forth far below us and the only sounds we heard were of birds, chipmunks, and our teams’ chatter. It was glorious!

A decision was made to completely dry all the clothing and gear and to remain at that campsite that evening. Thank heaven we stayed there that night. During the day we had Bible study, shared life stories, wrote in our journals, and most of the team members went swimming and hunting tadpoles in our mountain lake. We gathered wood for a campfire, sang camp songs, played cards, read, and basically rested and rejuvenated our bodies and souls.

After dinner, one of the campers didn’t feel well. Soon he was vomiting, had a headache, and trouble breathing. Through cell phone communication with Winston and Mary back at Sonlight, the decision was made by 8:00 PM that if he was not feeling better and it was likely that he had altitude sickness. Larson, one of Sonlight’s staff, decided to evacuate him out that night. Larson emptied his backpack, filled up several water bottles, took some snacks, extra flashlights, and headed straight down the mountain with him. Thank heaven the camper was able to walk, and apparently in as early as 15 minutes was feeling better. They followed the stream straight down the mountain and Winston met them on the highway, about 30 feet from where they had planned to arrive, according to the maps. They drove back to Sonlight and arrived there around midnight.

The rest of the team slept quite well, once we got to sleep. Tempers had flared earlier in the evening and another fist fight erupted in one of the boy’s tents. It was quickly stopped. Verbal fights weren’t so easy to stop. Taking “strangers” to a “foreign land” without positive role models is a difficult thing.

The next morning we began to prepare for departure. We had just finished breakfast of grilled bagels and cream cheese when Larson and Todd, another Sonlight staff member arrived. They had left Sonlight at 6:00 AM and hiked the 5 miles into our campsite. Todd planned to take Tony’s gear back to Sonlight.

By this time we had discovered a huge allergic reaction and inflammation to mosquito bites on the back of one of the camper’s head. The swollen area was the size of one-half a grapefruit and he also had huge 2 and 3 inch in diameter welts all over his arms and legs. We soon had concerns that if similar swelling took place in his chest area that perhaps he would have trouble breathing.

Another camper appeared to also have severe allergic reactions to bug bites. His ankles were not only swollen from the bites, but his over-weight condition had been a strain on his legs, knees, and lungs. After much discussion, we felt the only safe thing was for these two campers to evacuate out with Todd. Since there would now be three team members back at Sonlight, the decision was made for Paul Collins, the other adult Wings leader, to also hike out and bring the boys back home.

The other campers were given an hour to prepare for departure. After an hour, the two boys’ tents were still upright. Clothing was still spread on rocks all over the campsite. Food had not been reclaimed and packed in backpacks. Water bottles had not been filled.

The team was not taking responsibility for their own safety or situation. Team members were not able to control their language as requested. A sense of “team” and “teamwork” was missing. Another decision by the staff was made – evacuate the whole team.

By the time we reached this conclusion, we had to think of the safety of each individual involved. We could have tried to “push” the remaining team members forward. I believe they could have met the physical challenge, even if reluctantly. I wanted them to experience “success” and “being pushed” and “making it”. BUT, no way were we going to do that with other members that just didn’t care. One team member removed his backpack on the return hike out and left it in the path, about ½ mile along the 5 mile trail. Of course he left his water bottle so needed my extra water later down the trail and selfishly depleted the whole bottle without asking me if I needed any extra water.

A fight occurred again on the trail between several team members. They were not able to control their emotions and think as a “team”.

I don’t ever think I’ve seen a more welcome site than the Lobo tower and the yellow Sonlight bus. Cold water, soft drinks, and homemade cookies awaited us. Three additional Sonlight staff members had driven up to get us and hiked in halfway to help us carry gear. My own pack felt like it weighed 60#, as I had picked up additional items that team members refused to repack in their backpacks. We were SO thankful for their help carrying the additional backpacks and gear.

We arrived back at camp. Gear was returned to Sonlight, a fine hotdog roast was prepared for us, and it felt great to wash our hands with soap and water and go to a toilet. But I was so disappointed in the team and afraid to spend another night with kids that I assumed would fight again, swear again, and not treat each other as Children of God.

So, we packed up our cars and drove back to Albuquerque. Did we accomplish anything? Did the team members learn anything? I don’t know. I do know that they wanted to hear rap music when we got into the car. I kept the radio off and we talked. I asked them about the trip and what they learned. They seemed to “get it”. They said “the right things”. They even wanted to sing our “camp songs” and we sang for several hours on the 4-hour drive home. One of the boys couldn’t “sing”, but he howled, whistled, and yelled along between threats of burning down forests, ramming cars in front of us, and shooting his gun as soon as he got home.

I’m not used to youth like this. I’m not used to youth that don’t try their hardest and don’t give up. I’m not used to youth that don’t stop using 4-letter words when you ask them to. I’m not used to being around youth that have witnessed death, incarceration, suicide, drugs, homelessness, and other tragedies in their young lives. I’m not used to any of this!!!!! Are any of you???? And yet millions of kids live like this. This is their life. Is it no wonder that standing at 12,000 feet with a 40# backpack on their back and walking 5 miles in rundown tennis shoes is a challenge and overwhelming?

I’ve wondered if crawling into their tent that first night was similar to an inmate being arrested for the first time. It was dark, foggy, rainy, and cold. They were experiencing a frightening time – several, the first time away from home. (Most of the kids had not ever been to Santa Fe, a 50 mile distance from Albuquerque. They certainly had never been in another state and in such a remote location.) I would guess most of the youth live in very cramped quarters. Most have no privacy and their world is an open book. Suddenly they were forced to sleep in a tent with three others, some strangers, with different viewpoints and values. They must have felt all alone. Facing an individual challenge, for no one was going to arrive in a car and drive them out. Perhaps for the first time they realized they were responsible for their own survival. I’m sure that was frightening.

My little tent that night was claustrophobic. The ground was hard. It was cold. I was dry, because I knew the importance of staying dry. Most of the youth had wet, dirty clothes on. They were in a foreign environment. Some people rise to the challenge and excel. Others want to give up and not go forward.

Unlike a prison cell where many of the kids or their family members have called “home”, the nightmare ended with the dawn of a new day. We arose to brilliant blue skies, found ourselves literally “on top of the mountain”, beside a reflective, perfectly still mountain lake. We could see at least 100 miles in all directions and mountain peaks and valleys framed our 360 degree view. I’ve reflected about the bleak, wet, foggy night. The kids were in a foreign world – frightening to them at best. Is that how prison feels the first night? I can only imagine how all alone, angry, frustrated, and scared one must be the first night of an arrest. Some of our kids may experience an “arrest” if lifestyle changes are not made. Yet, with the sunshine of the new day, they were given hope. Sleep provided renewed energy and excitement about the day. Waking up in a cell doesn’t provide ‘sunshine’ and hope. The nightmare is as scary first thing in the morning as it was during the dark, dreary night before. I hope the kids remember the analogy, and learn to stretch themselves to positive challenges.

Only time will tell what each of us learned from this experience. I learned many things!

1. First of all, I will never take only children of prisoners alone again on anything. They need positive role models that are their age, that can encourage and inspire them.

2. I will never take youth that haven’t “earned their way”, and that means financially and emotionally as well.

3. Future experiences will have outings in advance. There will be requirements for participation in activities and something not just given to them.

4. In-depth training will be required for anything as strenuous as backpacking. Weight requirements will be enforced – no one under 100# and no one considered “over-weight” by a doctor.

5. Future participants will have had to attend several Bible studies, have a chance to journal, and sing favorite songs.

6. I would suggest one adult for every 2-3 youth.

7. It would be ideal to take 3-4 youth from church youth groups along with the other teens.

8. High school age is best, but the kids need intervention usually in mid-school. Team member’s size, maturity, as well as youth and adult leadership, will help determine any future outings.

9. It may be wise to take groups of only one sex.

I very gratefully thank Winston and Mary Marugg, the owners of Sonlight Christian Camp, for their generosity of providing an opportunity for this backpacking trip to occur, as well as believing in giving every kid a chance. I will be forever grateful for the way they live out their faith.

The “thank you’s” from each of the youth team members indicate that they were appreciative and learned something. We planted some seeds – we may not be there for the harvest. I hope the seeds do not wither and die. Paul Collins has offered to mentor one of the boys. That particular boy called me out of the blue today to “just talk”. I about fell over!!!!! A seedling is sprouting!

I do know this for certain. Each of the kids now know Paul, me, and MANY of the Sonlight Staff. The kids know without a doubt that we care about each of them. Perhaps that’s why I got the call today from one of the boys. But they KNOW that we are there for them. Whether they will go the next step and reach out to us, time will tell.

I also know that I will keep them in our Wings data base. I will call them, mail invitations to them, and encourage them to join us for Wings Parties and Wings for L.I.F.E. meetings and events. After that, the ball is in their court. I guarantee they experienced unconditional love – perhaps for the first time. We gave, and gave, and gave some more. We held our temper, tried to encourage when their response back was not always pleasant, and they experienced Christ’s forgiving love. We were faithful.

Did we fail? No, I don’t think so. Is there a whole lot more to accomplish? ABSOLUTELY!

In His Love and Service,

Ann Edenfield

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