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"Angel" — the word brings to mind a picture of a glorious heavenly
being in a flowing gown with wings and maybe a trumpet. But what are angels really?
Angels are simply messengers. They are beings sent to deliver good news. The good
news is always that God is near and God is love. Therefore, whoever proclaims that
God loves and God cares is an angel. Fortunately some angels exist. They are found in
classrooms, in churches, in business, and in an organization called WINGS.
This is the story of one somewhat uncertain WINGS volunteer.
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Mandy hesitantly opened the car door. This was her first time helping at a WINGS
party and she wasn't sure why she came. The woman remembered talking to her friend
Ann.
"The WINGS Christmas party is coming up. Three times a year a group of
volunteers get together to throw a party for families of inmates. Can you come
help?"
Somehow the enthusiasm was contagious and Mandy found herself saying, "Sure,
I'll come next Saturday."
At the time she wondered silently, "What motivates men, women and teenagers to
give up a Saturday afternoon to play games, sing songs, share crafts and break bread
with men, women and children who have had their lives disrupted because a family
member is in prison?"
Now sitting outside the church hall, the young woman felt her heart beating
uncomfortably fast and almost fearfully.
"What will these families be like?" she wondered. In her active imagination
she began to picture tattoos and gang bandannas. Scenes from the evening news and
West Side Story rose up in her mind. "What if there is a fight with knives and
guns?" she asked herself.
The woman almost stayed in the car, but a promise is a promise so she squared her
shoulders and marched into the entry hall.
"You made it!" ecstatically Ann greeted her friend. "Sign in on the
sheet and get a name tag. You'll need a colored dot to designate what quadrant of
town your church is in. If you want a turquoise T-shirt with the WINGS angel logo,
they are in the box."
After the brief instructions, the director hurried away leaving Mandy staring after
her.
"Hi, just go ahead and write your name on the list," instructed the
volunteer behind the table. "Here are the nametags. Then maybe you can help
Karen cut out halos."
Soon Mandy found herself at a table cutting out halos with a couple of teenage girls
and an older woman. The group laughed together as they tried different ways of
cutting the paper plates into halos.
"We need halos for everyone," Ann paused to instruct. "They are going
to be used for the Bible time skit, too."
Mandy flexed her hand. Already it hurt from cutting out so many halos but with good
humor the young woman picked up another paper plate. Around the room volunteers were
busily putting craft supplies onto tables and filling paper bags with placemats,
plates and napkins for dinnertime.
"Everyone, gather around," Ann suddenly called above the hubbub of busy
workers.
Obediently, Mandy joined the circle forming around the leader.
After a brief prayer, Ann spoke, "Thank you all for coming. We have a busload
from the women's shelter and the Baptist church is bringing a van full of families.
I expect that there will be probably 50 or 60 guests here today. Just like the angel
on our logo, we are here to proclaim the Good News," the woman added with a
smile.
Briefly the woman outlined the activities and then proceeded to mention some
statistics that shocked Mandy into sober silence.
"There are two million people in the prisons of this country. One in twenty of
us will be incarcerated in our lifetime. Each inmate affects thirty other
people."
It was Ann's last statement that caused Mandy to stop and consider her circle of
friends. Suddenly she realized that she too knew people affected by having a person
in prison.
"My best friend had a son who spent years in and out of the juvenile prison
system," she realized.
"Vickie down the street married an inmate while he was in prison. Our children
grew up together. I never really thought about them being 'different' because of a
family member in prison." Shaking her head, the woman mused, "I wonder why
I was so anxious about coming here today."
Mandy didn't have time to really think about the insight because already some of the
guests were beginning to arrive. Shyly, Mandy watched some of the other volunteers go
up and introduce themselves. She studied the women and children. Some were obviously
nervous. Everyone seemed a little shy. A five-year old girl in a fluffy party dress
clung to her mother who held an almost newborn baby. Mandy smiled at the mother who
looked very young.
"I remember those days," she said. "My daughter used to hang on me
just like that. She wouldn't go anywhere on her own."
Hesitantly the young mother smiled. Mandy noticed that her name was Veronica and her
daughter's nametag said Maria.
"We're going to have a lot of fun today, Maria" she promised the little
girl. "Why don't you all come up here with me. We're going to start playing some
games now."
Sure enough, Ann gathered everyone together; "There are only two rules at a
WINGS party. They are 'Everyone is treated as a child of God' and 'Everyone
participates'. We are going to play some mixing up games," she went
on. "If you like to slide in the snow go to this side of the room, if you would
rather stay inside when it snows, go to that side. Then find one person you don't
know and tell them your name and why you came today."
Somewhat slowly the guests began to divide up with encouragement from the volunteers.
"Do you like to slide in the snow? Me too, come over here," Mandy heard Tom
talking to a sullen looking pre-teen boy. Surprisingly the boy followed the man.
Realizing that Veronica and Maria hadn't moved, Mandy asked, "Which do you like
to do in the snow — play outside or stay inside?"
"Outside," the child's whispered answer was barely audible in the noisy
room.
"Then let's go over here," she led the way to the correct side of the room.
Before the trio had a chance to meet anyone, Ann called out another instruction,
"If you like turkey for Christmas dinner, go to this side. Those that prefer
ham, go to that side."
More freely now the volunteers and guests moved to the selected side of the room.
Mandy lost sight of Veronica and Maria. After a few more mixers, Ann invited
everyone to sit down for singing. Mandy found herself joining in enthusiastically.
"I need four volunteers to help with costumes," Ann announced after the
singing was done. "We are all going to help with telling the Christmas
story."
Mandy felt her hand go up and was soon helping put white gowns and angel wings on a
troop of small, wiggling bodies.
"I want those wings," a tug at her skirt alerted the woman to the demand.
She looked down to see Maria pointing to a set of small feather covered wings.
"Here you are," with a smile the costume was completed.
"Look Mama," the little girl pirouetted. Her mother smiled for the first
time.
Soon the group of angels was taking part in creating the Christmas tableau along with
the shepherds, sheep, wise men and holy family while the parish priest told the
age-old saga.
"Hold still for a picture," Ann called out when everyone was on the
makeshift stage at the end of the story. "Take off your costumes and we'll put
them back in the box for next time then we will do some crafts."
The promise of crafts encouraged each of the children to return their robes, wings
and other costume parts to the volunteers. Maria gave the feathers a final stroke
when she laid them in the box. Mandy felt tears rise and swallowed hard.
"Adults and teenagers will come to the far end of the room," Ann
instructed. "We're going to have some discussion while the children do
crafts."
Mandy felt a little at loose ends until Ann motioned to her to follow. "Can you
be my scribe?" the leader asked.
"Sure," answered the woman.
As the group talked about their feelings, Mandy realized that behind the statistics
are human beings. The men and women in prison are husbands, fathers, brothers, and
sons. They are wives, mothers, sisters, and daughters. Someone loves each one and his
or her absence is sorely felt. The wife misses the companionship and support of her
husband in raising their baby. The father mourns at not being able to be at his
daughter's wedding. The mother grieves that she cannot hold her children or see them
except on brief visits.
Writing down the answers to Ann's questions, the young woman was saddened to realize
that doors once open, suddenly are closed. These families all looked for support from
friends, agencies or churches. Too often friends turn away in fear, disgust or
embarrassment, the agencies are overloaded and the churches blind.
"Why do you come to WINGS parties?" the final question was addressed to the
few guests who had attended other WINGS events.
"Because you like us," one woman finally spoke up from the back of the
room. Mandy felt her throat tighten.
"You don't treat us like we were different," agreed another
woman. "You see us as people."
When the group returned to gather up children from the craft area for dinner, Mandy
lagged behind. There was so much to think about.
"How could I have been so blind?" she wondered. "These women and
children and even the men here are all looking for the same thing I am. They all want
to be accepted for who they are and not judged just because they are perceived as
being different."
Mandy remembered the many times in her life when she felt ostracized. The pain of a
classmate calling out "four-eyes" or being last chosen for every team
during PE, wasn't entirely unlike the isolation of the young man who shared that in
sixth grade a former friend shouted across the cafeteria 'You're the kid with the dad
in prison'. He confessed that he hadn't even told his mother of that incident.
"Each table should have at least one volunteer," Ann called out as families
gathered.
Soon everyone was seated. Mandy found herself with Veronica and Maria.
"Did you enjoy the crafts?" she asked the child.
Maria nodded happily and upended her bag onto the table to show off her creations.
Veronica frowned but Mandy laughed, "I'd love to see what you made. Tell me all
about them."
After a few instructions about who was to be the 'table server', Ann led the group in
a prayer before sending the servers off to retrieve the bags full of plates. Then the
juice and pizza were brought. Everyone dug into the meal. Maria stuffed her mouth and
reached for another piece of pizza.
"There is plenty," Mandy calmed Veronica's concern. "I'm sure they
ordered enough. She can have two pieces if she wants."
"Where are you from?" one of the other volunteers at the table opened the
conversation.
"I'm staying at the women's shelter," admitted the young
mother. "When my boyfriend got out of prison he became abusive and we had to
leave."
"You were wise to leave," nodded Tom. "It is a hard decision but the
best for your children."
There wasn't time for much more discussion because Ann announced the table game would
be wrapping someone as a Christmas present. "The person with the birthday
closest to December 25 will be the present."
It turned out that Tom's birthday was December 20th. Everyone pitched in to turn him
into the most fantastic Christmas present ever. After a few minutes all the human
gifts paraded at the front of the room to the cheers of everyone present.
A closing prayer ended the event and left Mandy with much to think about. All the way
home, the woman pondered how her outlook had changed with one party.
"What is the deepest longing deep in the heart of each person?" Mandy asked
herself. "It is to be accepted and affirmed as important and worth being cared
for. Some find this in sororities or sports. Others look for peers in civic
organizations and clubs. There are those who seek community within gangs or escape
from their loneliness into the world of alcohol and drugs. For some the search ends
in a prison cell. The families deserve our help and it is up to us to give it."
She knew that she would be available the next time Ann asked for help.
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